Archive for the ‘pointless holidays’ Category
Behold the duck
It does not cluck
A cluck it lacks
I have spent much of today failing to write anything useful about Galileo’s Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina so I thought I’d write something here, just to reassure myself I am still capable of stringing the odd sentence together.
I bought a new razor recently, because I couldn’t find new blades for my old one. I succumbed to the mighty advertising clout of Gillette and bought a FUSION! razor. If you live under a rock, I’ll remind you that the FUSION! line of razors is advertised by Thierry Henry, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods. I don’t know which sportsman’s total lack of personality drew me to their product. All I know is that I now command the comfort of five blades AND the precision of one. Fear me. For I have experienced the miracle of FUSION!
Adam and Joe were talking about new holidays today on their BBC 6music radio show thinger. It was rather good and stuff. I’ll link to the podcast when it shows up (around 6 tomorrow, apparently). I didn’t text in any of the genius ideas I have had in the past. But theirs were specifically new days for sending cards on. Apparently they got the idea off the Apprentice. But I haven’t seen any of it this year. Or any year, for that matter.
I watched Any Given Sunday yesterday, because I’d picked it up at Borders for £2.99. Bargain! Anyway. Yes it was worth every penny of my three pounds. I also picked up The Talented Mr Ripley, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and… some other film. All going for a song. Marvelous.
Today we celebrate the day St Patrick turned all the snake in Ireland into Guinness. Or something like that. Don’t let the church tell you St Paddy’s isn’t today. Just because it’s their holiday, doesn’t mean they can move it about…
Speaking of the church (Good link, good link…) here are some random thoughts on atheism. So the scientific atheist position seems roughly to be the following:
- You can explain everything with science.
- Specifically, you can explain religion by talking about memes, evolution and other such things.
- This is the best explanation of religion.
- The best explanation of religion doesn’t appeal to God.
- So shave the big man upstairs with Occam’s razor.
I think there is a subtlety in the Occam’s razor step that is often overlooked: this is a scientific explanation. It is good science not to believe in the existence of entities your theory doesn’t need. I think this scientific aspect of the Occam step is important.
So, what criticisms can we make of this? I think the Big One is the idea that we should be explaining religion with science. If you concede that, then you’re pretty much finished. But roughly speaking I agree with the argument. I just don’t quite feel pushes me all the way to outright denial of the existence of any deity. So I’d say I’m intuitively atheist, but philosophically agnostic.
I don’t really have a proper point.
Here is a list of things I have given up for lent (This list is not exhaustive):
- Going to the Ikea cafe
- Faster than light travel
- Eye make-up
- Eating the hearts of my enemies
- Reciting Jabberwocky backwards in front of a mirror at midnight during an eclipse
- Doing the lottery
- Pretending to have conversations with Marlon Brando at seances
- Black Mass
- Using the phrase “doxastic haecceity”
I am like 16 times a better Christian than you. Ha ha.
You know what we need? More excuses to go a-drinking! Well here is another one! The day the US repealed prohibition. Hoorah! Fuel the binge-drink economy! Punish your liver! Pump money into the coffers of Diageo and InBev.
I can’t decide which is worse; the government’s oddly draconian proposals on making criminals of parents who allow their children to drink the safety of their own homes or the coagulation of most of the brands sold in Britain into fewer and fewer soulless multinational conglomerates.
Whoah, mood kill. Anway… Mine’s a Guinness. Cheers.
Haiku Circus is
My new favourite website
It makes me chuckle
Peep Show and Have I Got News For You were both funny. But not in that order. Peep Show was on after HIGNFY was. Anyway. I might be out tomorrow and miss all the campy goodness of Eurovision. That would be a crying shame. I’ll have to trawl YouTube for the highlights.
I found a googlewhack today. I think it was “groupoidification periphery” Although by writing about it here it will probably cease to be a Googlewhack. Still, groupoidification is my favourite word today. It will probably be word of the week…
Here are a couple more pointless holiday ideas!
- Only reply to direct questions day
- Respond in a different medium to the one you were addressed in day (So ring up to answer emails, write down the answer to verbally asked questions etc…)
- Finish every sentence with the word “underpants” day underpants
- Blink as little as possible day
- Wink at strangers day
- Speak only in internet memes day (So basically all you can do is ask for cheeseburgers, inform people as to the state of their base, what you’re doing to their dudes and tell people how it is in Soviet Russia)
- Walk like an Egyptian day
OK, that’s enough.
Well done John Higgins, the new snooker world champion! Well done Mark Selby as well. The last few frames of the final were great. I didn’t see much of the earlier sessions of the final, though they sounded pretty one sided one way or the other.
I thought of another holiday; Narrate your own life day.
My Farside calendar is telling me that today is “Early May Bank Holiday” and I was thinking that that is a stupid holiday. (It should be called “stay at home and watch the snooker world championships final on BBC2 day”) Bank Holidays are stupid. What’s the point? You get a day off work and everything is shut. Great. They should stagger these holidays; banks get Monday off, supermarkets get Tuesday and so on. That means that on any one day, most stuff will be open and everyone gets a day off. Hooray! Then I thought that every day should be something special on the calendar. Like tomorrow. Tomorrow is just the 8th of May. Tuesday. Nothing special. Poor little eighth of May. So I started thinking up new holidays to sprinkle on the little “nothing” days, in the vein of Talk like a pirate day and Steak and a blowjob day I have thought up some other holidays;
- Give everyone you meet a 13amp fuse day
- Greet people with an annoyingly loud yelp day
- Eat nothing but carrots day
- Speak only in sentences with a prime number of words in them day
- Wear something purple for me day
- Speak only in song lyrics days
- Speak only in film quotes day
- Dress like a wurzel day
- Physically abuse a 4×4 driver day
- Set alight to a smoker day (July 1st)
- International “not a holiday” day
OK, so some of these aren’t as snappy as “Christmas” or “Easter” but whatever.
On a lighter note, the golden mean is 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ …