Sound and Fury

Signifying nothing

Happy “Early May Bank Holiday”

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My Farside calendar is telling me that today is “Early May Bank Holiday” and I was thinking that that is a stupid holiday. (It should be called “stay at home and watch the snooker world championships final on BBC2 day”) Bank Holidays are stupid. What’s the point? You get a day off work and everything is shut. Great. They should stagger these holidays; banks get Monday off, supermarkets get Tuesday and so on. That means that on any one day, most stuff will be open and everyone gets a day off. Hooray! Then I thought that every day should be something special on the calendar. Like tomorrow. Tomorrow is just the 8th of May. Tuesday. Nothing special. Poor little eighth of May. So I started thinking up new holidays to sprinkle on the little “nothing” days, in the vein of Talk like a pirate day and Steak and a blowjob day I have thought up some other holidays;

  • Give everyone you meet a 13amp fuse day
  • Greet people with an annoyingly loud yelp day
  • Eat nothing but carrots day
  • Speak only in sentences with a prime number of words in them day
  • Wear something purple for me day
  • Speak only in song lyrics days
  • Speak only in film quotes day
  • Dress like a wurzel day
  • Physically abuse a 4×4 driver day
  • Set alight to a smoker day (July 1st)
  • International “not a holiday” day

OK, so some of these aren’t as snappy as “Christmas” or “Easter” but whatever.

On a lighter note, the golden mean is 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ 1+(1/ …

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Written by Seamus

May 7, 2007 at 7:42 pm

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